George’sNewsWire(spoof)

Jill Biden exclusive interview: how she really uses husband Joe Biden’s shotgun against home invasion Jill Biden’s home invasion double barrel shot gun strategy has become a source of controversy. Her husband, Vice President Joe Biden advised two different strategies for Jill and other women regarding using a shotgun to thwart home invaders: scare away the intruders by randomly shooting into the backyard or directly shooting the intruders through the bedroom door. In an exclusive interview with George’sNewsWire, Jill Biden discloses which of the two strategies she uses: I don’t use either shotgun strategy Joe suggests. I have found that the secret of our marriage and dealing with Joe generally is to nod approval to anything he says and then ignore his advice. I told this to President Obama in 2008. Obama has followed the advice ever since. Jill Biden then described her actual home invasion strategy including the use of Joe’s shotgun: I have a foolproof plan if I awaken to the sounds of home intruders: 1. I wake up Joe, tell him that there is a television news crew downstairs and send him downstairs to be “interviewed”. 2. Get the shotgun from the closet, removes the shells, and wedge the shotgun under the bedroom door knob to secure the bedroom entrance. 3. Open the bedroom window, lower my emergency ladder and climb down. 4. Walk across yard to the Secret Service cottage, open a beer and join the Secret Service poker game. 5. Wait to hear intruders screaming and running to their cars (no intruders have lasted more than 35 minutes listening to Joe talk–his limitless ability to speak randomly without taking a breadth is disturbing particularly when he is in his pajamas in the middle of the night). 6. Return to my home, climb the ladder back to my bedroom. 7. Check the shotgun and make sure the door remains secured. 8. Go back to sleep. Jill indicated that step seven is unnecessary since Joe never returns to the bedroom because he never notices that the intruders have left. Joe usually keeps talking in the front hallway through breakfast, though one time he blabbered on until lunch. I cherish the private time this affords me. Jill refused to recommend this strategy for all women because “every situation is different” but that the strategy is perfect for her. In related news Jill disclosed that former Vice President Dick Cheney has reached out to Vice President Joe Biden by inviting him to go duck hunting. How wonderful and generous of Vice President Cheney. I am encouraging Joe to accept the invitation and to bring extra shotgun shells as as a gift to the former Vice President. Cheney could miss with his first shots. So now we know the truth of Jill Biden and the double barrel shotgun. George’sNewsWire(spoof) is created by George Ball. George is a political humorist and a founder of the Rail Splitter Society of Delaware. The Rail Splitters is an independent Republican organization dedicated to rebuilding America and the Republican Party. Rail Splitters meets monthly in Wilmington, DE.