Category Archives: Satire

The New Aberrant Human Species Of “Libtardus Invertabratus”

I wondered if this new Species of Homo Erectus was here to stay or just a passing new trend that is here today and gone tomorrow. However this new emerging post-modern variant seems to be in America and Europe to stay. One can’t be sure how they reproduce, because they are born much like normal infants. However, there is a consensus that the bacteria “Bacillus Propagandus” might be the cause of this phenomenal change. Layman’s language for “Libtardus Invertabratus” is “Spineless Liberal Retard.” Although this pathogen seemed to have shown up on the North American Continent about nine years ago, it wasn’t able to spread widely until 2008, when a president was elected that was infected with the new pathogen. The North American continent became a warring faction between the infected population and the bacteria resistant population. Open warfare of rhetoric have Read more

Liberal solution for Recession: Alien Space Invasion

One can't make up things liberals say and do.  Liberal icon and New York Times columnist has suggested that a possible threat of the invasion of earth by space aliens would generate the kind of government defense programs that will snap this nations economy into recovery in 18 months.  Krugman, who liberals tell us is very smart,  was on Sunday's CNN's show  "Fareed Zakaria GPS".  Krugman's analysis is to use the analogy of World War 2 and how the war got us out of the Great Depression.  Hey wait, I thought Roosevelt's New Deal got us out of the Great Depression!!  It is so hard to keep straight the things liberals say.  At any rate here is what Krugman said.  PAUL KRUGMAN, NEW YORK TIMES: Think about World War II, right? That was actually negative social product spending, and yet it brought us out. I mean, probably because you want to put these things together, if we Read more

Beau covers for DeLuca

Senator Anthony DeLuca must really be able to pull some strings. Attorney General Beau Biden knuckled under to pressure from the DeLuca clan and decided that when he works on his state job and when he works at the Legislature is none of the public's business.   It seems that revealing this bit of information could expose Delaware to a terrorist attack.  According to the News Journal. Disclosing when state Sen. Anthony DeLuca arrives to work at his two state jobs could endanger his life, the Delaware Attorney General's Office has determined, citing a law intended to prevent terrorist attacks against state-owned buildings. So there!!! Some of you guys thought DeLuca was just some Union thug Democrat Machine Politician, it turns out he is important enough to be a terrorist target.  I guess we really did get a wealth of information from those hard drives we captured when we cappped Osama Read more

Obama to dump Biden: Willie Brown

These rumors about Joe Biden keep popping up.  This despite the fact that Obama has assured Biden that he will be on the ticket.  I don't know why anyone wouldn't trust the word of Obama.  It's not like there are still detainees at Gitmo. Evidently, One such non believer is former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown.  Mr. Brown believes that Obama will shift Biden to Secretary of State to open up the VEEP slot for New York Governor  Andrew Cuomo.  Brown's reasoning goes like this:  Here's a prediction: Vice President Biden moves over to Secretary of State, with New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo stepping in to bring new blood to the Obama re-election campaign," Brown said. "He's a big name, a big-state governor. And a Democrat who is taking on the issue of pubic-employee salaries and pensions. Plus, he looks good." Now that last comment was pretty cold.  Is Brown saying our boy Read more

Stare at Breasts: Live Longer

I have to give a shout out to my friends at the Colossus of Rhodey.  It is a great blog and they are linked on this website.  They were the ones who originally posted this story.  I have decided to publicize the story because, well this is a matter of health and life or death, and the word on this should go out far and wide.  So here it goes, the story is about a German study .  What they say: Five-hundred men participated in the German study. Half were told to refrain from looking at breasts for five years, the other half were told to ogle them daily. The study found the men who stared at breasts more often showed lower rates of heart problems, a lower resting heart rate and lower blood pressure. The authors of the study recommend that men stare at breasts for 10 minutes a day. Well I don't know about the rest of you guys but when qualified German researchers make a recommendation, Read more

Castle to Drop Dead: Markell to appoint Biden

Well those REALLY, REALLY smart (I know they are smart because they say so.) supporters of Christine O’Donnell only got part of the deal right. And Yes the O’Donnell Campaign managed to con the people at RedState to print a bogus article about Senatorial Candidate Mike Castle switching parties and then resigning the office. But after dogged research I have come up with the true story behind the rumors. Sources close to the Congressman say the actual plan is for Mike Castle to drop dead after he is elected and for Governor Jack Markell to appoint Beau Biden to the Senate Seat. (Markell doesn’t really like Chris Coons. He thinks he is too short to be a U.S. Senator) This plan makes eminently more sense to me after discussing it with Castle Insiders. (These were the same Castle Insiders who talked to Red State.) According to these insiders “Castle wants to be seen as the good Read more

We are taking over

I am announcing my candidacy for Congress. I am sick and tired of a government that is out of control and an economy that is not recovering on main street. I am sick of a liberal social agenda being foisted on mainstream America. I am disturbed at the monetizing of our debt and the impending ruin of the dollar. I want our Constitutional Republic back. That is why I am filing today for Delaware’s 2nd Congressional district. I encourage my other 4 colleagues to file for districts 35-99 and get a jump on the competition. We will let everyone else fight over the at large district. Hey, that is change I can believe in. I hear the 6th is a good one in which to live. It is the only one with job growth.

Olympics will Save the Children

Both Presidents have made personal appeals for their lands and now they are neck and neck. The U. S. had a higher reason than just wanting the games. It wants to help poor underprivileged children.Take that you hard hearted types. You not only hate sick people according to one Congressman, but You don't support the children and by not supporting the U. S. Olympic bid. Meanies stop picking on the First family. Mrs. Obama said bringing the Olympics to Chicago is especially important right now because “athletics is becoming more of a fleeting opportunity.” “Funds dry up so it becomes harder for kids to engage in sports, to learn how to swim, to even ride a bike,” she said. In addition, with childhood obesity on the rise, “it is so important for us to raise up the platform of fitness and competition and fair play,” the first lady said. Finally, having the Olympics Read more

Laugh Line of the Day–Caught by his own words–satire alert

According to President Obama's speech to students tomorrow, he was not an American. Notice that it did not say all the other American kids. Now we know that he is Indonesian not Kenyan. Get with the program you guys. He is an Indonesian who went to madrasas not a Kenyan. (Yes, I am kidding. Like most Americans I support his effort to encourage children to be the best they can be.) What are the odds that this speech will be revised by tomorrow? When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning. Read more

Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson, Still Alive?

There's a theory about many mysterious celebrity deaths which I would like to share. Some might say it's a government conspiracy. Some might say this is the dream of some lunatic. Let me brief you on what I know and let you, the reader, decide. There is a secret yet unnamed group of powerful men and women which formed a program for popular artists, such as actors and singers, to pull them out the public eye. Referred to as "The Program", this provided a means for drug and alcohol rehabilitation, counseling, and a return to private life. The Program is available at the choice of the artist due the overwhelming pressures of the spotlight. There are two theories regarding the first celebrity to be placed in The Program. One small camp believes that big band star Glenn Miller was the first to be taken in. His suspicious disappearance over the English Channel made for an easy exit from the Read more

The Problem with Education is

Gays need the right to alter the definition of marriage or else our children won't learn. That must be the case because the National Education Association is backing changing marriage. I am glad that someone is on top of the crucial issues facing our children. They found other problems as well. They solved the problem with civics education and the lack of knowledge of American history and heritage. We have been focused wrongly. We are really citizens of the world. Promoting education is a global concern after all. The fact that we are trying to tell the rest of the world how to educate children has no irony whatsoever. Test scores are overrated. (NEA Youtube Channel) Another issue holding our children back was addressed in over new business item 70 , "which had to do with whether the NEA should go on record in support of the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Read more

How many job creators should we force out of Delaware?

Guest Post from Joe Isuzu --wink  (A wink is as good as nudge to a blind bat.) Maryland had a very successful experiment with a millionaire income tax surcharge. It changed state revenues by an 100 million dollars. Did I say that it lost 100 million dollars when 1000 or 1/3 of the millionaires moved? Oh, well I considered it a success because the more you tax something the less you tend to get of it. I love the proposals to do same in Delaware. I fully support them.    Let's set a goal for our state and follow suit.  The more the state taxes fall, the more likely we will have smaller and more efficient government. We need to punish the job creators to teach them that they aren't the bosses of us. They need to sacrifice or leave. John Kowalko and several others have it all planned out. The Republican minority could block it, but they understand the value of a good tax increase Read more

Special Olympians Apologize To Obama

After President Barack Obama’s unenlightened crack on the Tonight Show about his bowling game being “like Special Olympics or something,” and the President’s subsequent apology, Special Olympian bowlers have released a statement:
After we learned of the President’s gaffe, and later of his heartfelt apology, we felt the need to offer the President an apology of our own. Up until this point, when one of our fellow Special Olympians bowled a horrifically bad game, we would tease them by saying “You’re bowling like you’re the President of the United States or something.” We deeply regret our insensitivity.