Category Archives: laughs

Is it time to Amend the Preamble?

The visionaries who gave us the model republic for humanity summed up their intention for that inspired document called the U.S. Constitution this way in its preamble. We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. It is simple, profound, and visionary. It is a mission statement for the federal government. What other government had as a primary purpose to secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity? It is part of what made us unique in the world. The purposes of the federal government could be counted on the fingers of one hand, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide Read more

This Explains A Lot

Our world is becoming increasingly bizarre.  The man who signed Delaware's defense of marriage law is now changing sides after much soul searching.  I like Tom Carper, but this is quite depressing.  Bill O'Reilly even seems swept away with the craziness. I searched the internet for an answer.  I think I found what is happening.  What would inspire us to torpedo the foundational element of human culture with no discernible event? It is a conspiracy of the new world order to weaken society and control us.  How did they get it to happen?  First they told us they were putting Fluoride in the water for our teeth, but in reality it was a mind control drug that made us more sensitive to electronic radiation.  The next step was to have the CIA flood our country with mind altering drugs then criminalize them so that they could imprison and indoctrinate our young people. They put slow hypnotic Read more

George’sNewsWire(spoof)

Jill Biden exclusive interview: how she really uses husband Joe Biden's shotgun against home invasion Jill Biden's home invasion double barrel shot gun strategy has become a source of controversy. Her husband, Vice President Joe Biden advised two different strategies for Jill and other women regarding using a shotgun to thwart home invaders: scare away the intruders by randomly shooting into the backyard or directly shooting the intruders through the bedroom door. In an exclusive interview with George'sNewsWire, Jill Biden discloses which of the two strategies she uses: I don't use either shotgun strategy Joe suggests. I have found that the secret of our marriage and dealing with Joe generally is to nod approval to anything he says and then ignore his advice. I told this to President Obama in 2008. Obama has followed the advice ever since. Jill Biden then described her actual Read more

Political typos

Most political mailers are viewed like junk mail. Once in a while some get attention. These for what they said as opposed to what the candidates wanted to say. Crime on the rise in the Negrohood. As President, Mitt will work to enhance opportunities for Americans to hunt, shoot, and protect their families.... So which is it shoot them or protect them? This one is not political but it is too wild. See it yourself. School district serves KKK Chicken tenders to children. Read more

Just a Reminder What Government by Regulation Looks Like

EU bans claims by bottled water manufacturers that regular consumption of water prevents dehydration.  21 scientists couldn’t decide if low water levels were a cause or symptom of dehydration and the regulatory board actually took them seriously.  These are the type of  people who we should turn our economy over to in order to save us from global some kind of climate change.  We also need to follow their example on all sorts of issues from health care to tax levels, to wealth distribution because things are going so well.  Even more mind boggling, the national leaders are debating whether or not to give the Euro zone bureaucrats more power.

Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle

Don't let it be said that I do not support environmental sanity. I was one of the first in my city to participate in the voluntary recycling. I changed my bulbs years ago. I winterized and upgraded. I support alternative energy --just not at any price. I drive a fuel efficient car. Laugh at it while I drive past you when you are at the gas station. I just do not buy into the extreme view governing our state. It is almost as if now that the air and water are cleaner than anytime in the last 150 years that the environmental movement has to invent threats to feel relevant. One does not have to kill the economy to be environmentally responsible. Whatever happened to those simple three words, reduce, reuse, and recycle? We need common sense not global panic and the misallocation of resources ideas like a focus on greenhouse gasses brings. So my green friends do not feel left out. Read more

Paul Dameron’s Top Ten Reasons for Today’s Stock Market Plunge

Wow!  I am sure you all saw the news today:  The Dow fell 500+ points.  Now--do understand--you will get TONS of news and analysis on why this happened--but only HERE do you get the real reasons why. Here now are the:  Top 10 Reasons the Stock Market Fell Over 500 Points Today 10.  Stock Traders were selling stocks to try and raise money to buy President Obama a present on his birthday!  Awww, fellas, you really didn't have to do that!  No, I mean you REALLY didn't have to do that!   9.  Someone forgot to take their Prozac before they went to work today--just sayin'!   8.  It was Bush's fault!   7.  Stock Traders found out that, in the up-coming Star Wars movie, Darth Vader is NOT really Luke Skywalker's father; nope--instead, Luke Skywalker's father is:  Chewbacca (Ewww!  That means Luke's Mom and Chewbacca . . . . Ewww!).    6.  Stock Traders thought Read more

Voter mental acuity exercise–From the mail box

Elections are around the corner and we voters are hit with all sorts of information.  I would like to offer this mental acuity exercise to prepare you .  Thanks Ed for the submission.  Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. It's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your skills stack up.   Some may think it is too easy but the liberals and progressives among us may have difficulty.  Take the test presented here to determine if you need to buff up your brain. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.     OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.     1. What do you put in a toaster?   Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else.. Try not to hurt yourself.     If you said, bread, go to Question 2.   2.   Read more